| SOFTBALL TIPS |
|
|
|
| SITE STUFF |
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
|
| • |
June 26, 2005 |
| • |
July 03, 2005 |
| • |
July 10, 2005 |
| • |
July 17, 2005 |
| • |
July 24, 2005 |
| • |
July 31, 2005 |
| • |
August 07, 2005 |
| • |
August 14, 2005 |
| • |
August 21, 2005 |
| • |
August 28, 2005 |
| • |
September 11, 2005 |
| • |
October 02, 2005 |
| • |
October 09, 2005 |
| • |
October 23, 2005 |
| • |
October 30, 2005 |
| • |
November 06, 2005 |
| • |
November 13, 2005 |
| • |
December 04, 2005 |
| • |
December 18, 2005 |
| • |
December 25, 2005 |
| • |
January 08, 2006 |
| • |
January 15, 2006 |
| • |
January 29, 2006 |
| • |
February 05, 2006 |
| • |
February 12, 2006 |
| • |
February 19, 2006 |
| • |
February 26, 2006 |
| • |
March 05, 2006 |
| • |
March 12, 2006 |
| • |
March 19, 2006 |
| • |
March 26, 2006 |
| • |
April 02, 2006 |
| • |
April 09, 2006 |
| • |
April 16, 2006 |
| • |
April 23, 2006 |
| • |
April 30, 2006 |
| • |
May 07, 2006 |
| • |
May 14, 2006 |
| • |
May 21, 2006 |
| • |
May 28, 2006 |
| • |
June 04, 2006 |
| • |
June 11, 2006 |
| • |
June 18, 2006 |
| • |
June 25, 2006 |
| • |
July 09, 2006 |
| • |
July 16, 2006 |
| • |
July 23, 2006 |
| • |
July 30, 2006 |
| • |
August 13, 2006 |
| • |
August 20, 2006 |
| • |
September 03, 2006 |
| • |
September 10, 2006 |
| • |
September 17, 2006 |
| • |
September 24, 2006 |
| • |
October 01, 2006 |
| • |
October 08, 2006 |
| • |
October 15, 2006 |
| • |
October 22, 2006 |
| • |
November 12, 2006 |
| • |
November 26, 2006 |
| • |
December 31, 2006 |
| • |
January 14, 2007 |
| • |
January 21, 2007 |
| • |
January 28, 2007 |
| • |
February 04, 2007 |
| • |
February 11, 2007 |
| • |
February 18, 2007 |
| • |
February 25, 2007 |
| • |
March 04, 2007 |
| • |
March 11, 2007 |
| • |
March 18, 2007 |
| • |
April 01, 2007 |
| • |
April 08, 2007 |
| • |
April 15, 2007 |
| • |
April 22, 2007 |
| • |
April 29, 2007 |
| • |
May 06, 2007 |
| • |
May 13, 2007 |
| • |
May 20, 2007 |
| • |
May 27, 2007 |
| • |
June 03, 2007 |
| • |
June 10, 2007 |
| • |
June 17, 2007 |
| • |
June 24, 2007 |
| • |
July 01, 2007 |
| • |
July 22, 2007 |
| • |
July 29, 2007 |
| • |
August 12, 2007 |
| • |
August 19, 2007 |
| • |
September 02, 2007 |
| • |
September 16, 2007 |
| • |
September 30, 2007 |
| • |
October 07, 2007 |
| • |
October 14, 2007 |
| • |
October 21, 2007 |
| • |
November 04, 2007 |
| • |
November 18, 2007 |
| • |
November 25, 2007 |
| • |
December 02, 2007 |
| • |
December 09, 2007 |
| • |
December 16, 2007 |
| • |
January 13, 2008 |
| • |
February 17, 2008 |
| • |
February 24, 2008 |
| • |
March 02, 2008 |
| • |
March 09, 2008 |
| • |
March 30, 2008 |
| • |
April 06, 2008 |
| • |
April 13, 2008 |
| • |
April 20, 2008 |
| • |
April 27, 2008 |
| • |
May 04, 2008 |
| • |
May 11, 2008 |
| • |
May 18, 2008 |
| • |
May 25, 2008 |
| • |
June 01, 2008 |
| • |
June 15, 2008 |
| • |
June 22, 2008 |
| • |
June 29, 2008 |
| • |
July 06, 2008 |
| • |
July 13, 2008 |
| • |
July 20, 2008 |
| • |
August 03, 2008 |
| • |
August 10, 2008 |
| • |
August 17, 2008 |
| • |
August 24, 2008 |
| • |
August 31, 2008 |
| • |
September 07, 2008 |
| • |
September 14, 2008 |
| • |
September 21, 2008 |
| • |
September 28, 2008 |
| • |
October 05, 2008 |
| • |
October 12, 2008 |
| • |
October 19, 2008 |
| • |
October 26, 2008 |
| • |
November 02, 2008 |
| • |
November 09, 2008 |
| • |
November 16, 2008 |
| • |
November 30, 2008 |
| • |
December 07, 2008 |
| • |
December 21, 2008 |
| • |
December 28, 2008 |
| • |
February 15, 2009 |
| • |
February 22, 2009 |
| • |
April 12, 2009 |
| • |
April 19, 2009 |
| • |
April 26, 2009 |
| • |
May 03, 2009 |
| • |
May 10, 2009 |
| • |
May 17, 2009 |
| • |
May 24, 2009 |
| • |
May 31, 2009 |
| • |
June 07, 2009 |
| • |
June 14, 2009 |
| • |
June 21, 2009 |
| • |
July 05, 2009 |
| • |
July 12, 2009 |
| • |
July 19, 2009 |
| • |
August 02, 2009 |
| • |
August 30, 2009 |
| • |
September 06, 2009 |
| • |
September 20, 2009 |
| • |
October 04, 2009 |
| • |
October 11, 2009 |
| • |
October 18, 2009 |
| • |
November 08, 2009 |
| • |
November 15, 2009 |
| • |
November 22, 2009 |
| • |
November 29, 2009 |
| • |
December 27, 2009 |
| • |
January 03, 2010 |
| • |
January 10, 2010 |
| • |
January 17, 2010 |
| • |
January 24, 2010 |
| • |
January 31, 2010 |
| • |
March 14, 2010 |
| • |
March 21, 2010 |
| • |
March 28, 2010 |
| • |
April 04, 2010 |
| • |
April 18, 2010 |
| • |
April 25, 2010 |
|
|
| SOFTBALL LINKS |
|
|
|
Were You As Good As Your Kid?
by Dave
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I have a question I would like to ask you. It is a rhetorical question because, in a certain sense, I expect no answer. On the other hand, I expect no answer because there isn't really one - you cannot really answer it. That makes it more of a philosophical question than a rhetorical one. The question is, were you as good as your kid is.
This question struck me after reading some of Marc Dagenais' blog on softballperformance.com. The piece I was reading had to do with types of parents. I don't believe there are really types of parents though I do think certain patterns arise with which one might classify sports parents. That blog piece was targeted to coaches and their dealings with parents. My blog piece today is aimed at making you, parents, a little bit more introspective about how you deal with your sports children.
So the question is, were you as good as your kid, way back when you competed in youth sports. And the reason you cannot answer it is because you really cannot compare your experience with theirs. The youth sports world has really changed that much.
Think hard about it for a moment. Most of us played some sport in a local rec league. Looking back, it may appear to us that we were more of an impact player in those days than our kid is today. But the truth is, when your world consisted of fifty or a hundred kids all playing in the youth baseball or softball program, you in no way competed the way your kid does in today's travel setting.
In today's setting, on any given Sunday, any 12 of maybe 600 kids might line up across the field from your daughter. Those kids probably come from each of two or three states. Your rec league might have had kids from three towns in it. And, for the record, I choose the number 600 more or less randomly as representing 50 travel teams filled with somewhat elite players. Your rec league, even if it was ever that large, did not consist of kids who were chosen after tryouts. You go to a tournament today and find maybe 12 or 16 of the best 50 teams from three states playing for a championship. Your experience was not like that. In your experience, everyone who signed up for the league played. They weren't excluded after a stressful tryout. So, while you may have been one of five or ten all-stars in your little pond, your kid is swimming around in a larger, more competitive ocean.
Secondly, when you played, you went to practice maybe once per week until, perhaps later when high school or local competitive quasi-travel teams were pulled together. Right now, your kid practices twice or more each week and her schedule includes spring, summer and fall ball, winter workouts, and perhaps lessons. You can argue that you would have been happy to have had all that - I know I would have been. But the fact remains that you, in your entire life, never had the kind of intensive training she has had and she's only 10-12 years old right now!
Third, if you are like most people, when you played, the season consisted of 15 or slightly more games. Your kid gets that much in just a couple weekends and she plays all year round. You were lucky to play one game on Tuesday and one on Saturday, assuming it didn't rain. She plays three on Saturday, a couple more on Sunday, a scrimmage on Monday, a school game on Tuesday, practice five days a week, and perhaps a travel scrimmage Friday night.
I was talking with the father of one girl who was 13 or 14 and he noted that between a little bit of rec ball - yes she still played some rec, a season of school ball, a full year of travel, and a partial year guesting with some travel teams, his daughter had played 140 games during one year. She had also attended countless practices and once a week lessons, not to mention some physical training sessions and the exercise routines she did on her own. By the time a girl reaches the ripe old age of 14, assuming she has played travel ball for 4-6 years, she has played more games than you have your entire life. She is loads more game experienced. She has more game savy. She is better conditioned and she probably has better skills than her parents did at the same age.
Now, I understand that you most likely played a broader variety of sports. That was the world we grew up in. Back in the day, it was pretty common for one kid to compete in two or three sports during high school and probably more than that during the pre-high school days. Today, that is far less common because to even make some high school teams requires absolute dedication to a single sport for years before trying out.
Not all high schools are created equal and some girls do still play multiple sports, starting for the varsity in more than one of them even as a mere freshman. But in any reasonably large high school, in any reasonably fanatical-about-softball area, if you want to do more than carry water for the starting squad, you need to play travel ball, year round, for several years prior to your freshman season.
Our local high school has a pretty good varsity team. I haven't tried to exactly count but I believe there are 4 or 5 Gold level players on it. Several girls have had their names appear on SpySoftball at one time or another. the starting pitcher is going Division One next year after graduation. The other girls have played a mix of travel ball and were good players in statewide competitions during their pre-teen years. There are girls on the team who have pitched at Gold level and will never pitch for the team because they have somebody better. There are players on the bench who have played travel ball since they were 11 or 12. This may not be the norm but many teams out there have similar situations. If a girl really wants to play high school ball, during actual games, she had better prepare from a relatively young age or it ain't going to fall into place.
So think about the question for a few minutes. Were you, at about the same age, as good as your daughter is? Were your mechanics as good? Did you work as hard? Did you run sprints and work on agility drills just to compete in baseball or softball? At the age of 12? Did you receive instruction and coaching on a par with what she has? Were you nearly as game experienced as she is? Did you walk around in a youth sports world that was anywhere near as competitive as the one she has been in for years?
If you are truthful with yourself, I believe the answer is going to be, no, I was not as good as my daughter. OK, so maybe there are folks out there who played baseball to the double-A level in the minor leagues. Yes, there are some former professional athletes among us. There are any number of kids, even on my own team whose parents competed at high levels in college. But the question involves an analysis of when you were her age and the degree to which you were trained, prepared and experienced. I dare say that even that guy who played professional football did not train seriously until he was perhaps 13 or 14 years old. I dare say that the minor league baseball pitcher or college softball shortstop who is reading this piece right now, while tremendously gifted, can honestly say that they were not nearly the athlete their daughter is when they were the same age. I take nothing away from all those outstanding athletes who are now parents. But I ask each of us, each of them, to make an honest assessment of how good, how dedicated, how well trained their daughters are.
OK, so I'm hoping that you have been truthful with yourself and admitted that your daughter is better than you were at the same age. I'm hoping that you have now a healthy regard for all that she has done to prepare to play this game. I'm hoping that you appreciate her not only as your daughter, a great student or whatever, but also as an athlete. OK, so now you're prepared for what I have to say next. What gives you, since she is better than you were, the right to criticize her play?
I understand that A) you are her parent and you will raise her, B) you only want is good for her, and C) she has played better in the past. But I heard what you said to her and I'm really wondering how somebody who wasn't nearly as good can criticize her play like that. That's different from raising her, having high expectations, or wanting what is best for her. Were you absent from the baseball /softball clinic the day they taught "shaking it off" and/or learning from your mistakes, not dwelling on them?
Let's be realistic. There's no way you ever faced this level of pitching when you were 12. Those girls all were above 50. If you're a man, you faced that kind of split-second decision making at the plate when you played varsity baseball and only then if you were facing a very good pitcher. If you are a women, there is only one way you faced that level of pitching at all and that is if you were an elite player in southern California or one of a very few other places. It didn't exist outside a limited geographical area when you played so it is highly unlikely you ever faced anything like it even in high school.
To go a step further, I do understand that you'd like her to get a hit. In that game, she got 3 at-bats and only hit the ball into play once. That was a fly out to right. Aside from that she walked once and struck out the other time. You know she can do better and perhaps you were rude to her about it but you want her to try harder the next time she gets up. But let's examine the game for a moment. There were a grand total of 5 hits during the entire 7 innings. We got three and the other team got two. Combine that with a couple walks and, out of 50 batters who came to the plate, just 8 reached base, with 5 of them hitting safely. You would like to see your daughter collect one of those hits. So would 15 other similarly situated parents of somewhat elite athletes who practiced all winter and went to hitting lessons 50 times last year!
I was standing along the sidelines at a very contentious high school game recently. There were a handful of baserunners in this extra-inning 0-0 game. the father of one player was stressed out. I was stressed out though I had no kid playing. I laughed at his stress level and he said something like I just want her to get a hit. Later, when she grounded out, he got upset. I chided him and he said something about her just getting a &^%$ hit. I said, OK, but there have only been two or three hits this whole game and we're in the 12th inning!
By the way, I don;t want to be self-righteous about this. had I been the father of a player and not a mere onlooker, I would have been just as stressed out as my friend was. her would have been laughing at me rather than the other way around.
We played several games the other day and the errors totalled up. The totalled maybe 5 for all teams in three games, not a bad day. But somebody had to make one or two. It is inevitable that the more games your daughters play, the more attemps they have, the more errors they are going to make. As I said before, your daughter has played far more games than you. She plays more games each year than you played in any five year period. She's going to flub a few plays. Even major league shortstops do. Just chalk this up to experience. If your kid's mechanics in the field or at the plate are off, by all means feel free to work on them. But before, during and after a game is not a good time to make those little tweaks you think might do the trick, loike when you tell your daughter, "for God's sake, get your butt down and stop turning your head."
Finally, there is nobody standing along the sidelines at your games thinking to themselves, "that Bob guy must have been a great athlete, his daughter is so good." Similarly, nobody is thinking, "that Mary must have been a real loser, her kid stinks." We all love our children. We all want them to succeed at everything, including softball. But they are good players. They are seasoned players. And wanting them to be better, wanting them to try harder, wanting them to do the things right, is not going to help at this moment.
And wanting them to be bette does not give you or them the right to criticize them. She deserves better than that. I believe she has earned more from you. After all, she is better than you were.Labels: parenting
 
|
|
|
